Secondary Grief

Secondary grief is the grief that follows the secondary losses that occur after a major life loss. While primary grief focuses on the loss itself, secondary grief is about the changes and additional losses that come as a result of it.

These can include changes to identity, lifestyle, relationships, financial stability, or sense of safety. Secondary grief is real, often ongoing, and deeply personal.

What Is Secondary Grief?

Secondary grief refers to the grief caused by life changes that happen because of an original loss. This may occur after:

  • The death of a loved one
  • Divorce or relationship breakdown
  • Serious illness or disability
  • Loss of employment or career
  • Migration or displacement
  • Trauma or major life events

It is not only the person or situation that is lost, but the life that existed around it.


Examples of Secondary Losses

Secondary grief may arise from losses such as:

  • Loss of routine, structure, or stability
  • Changes in housing or financial security
  • Reduced support networks or friendships
  • Loss of confidence or identity
  • Changes in family roles or responsibilities
  • Loss of future plans, dreams, or expectations

These losses can accumulate, making grief feel heavier and more complex.


How Secondary Grief Can Feel

Secondary grief often feels like a constant, background sadness that resurfaces with each new change. You may experience:

  • Ongoing sadness or frustration
  • A sense of instability or insecurity
  • Fatigue or emotional exhaustion
  • Anxiety about the future
  • Feeling overwhelmed by multiple changes
  • A sense of losing control over your life

These are natural responses to significant and repeated change.


Why This Type of Grief Is Often Overlooked

Secondary grief is frequently misunderstood because people may assume the main loss has already been processed. You may feel pressure to “move on” while still navigating the ongoing emotional impact.

Your grief does not have an expiry date.



You Are Not Alone in This Experience

Many people feel isolated by secondary grief because it is less visible and harder to explain. You may feel that others expect you to be “coping” by now.

There is no correct timeline for grief.

How the National Grief Advice Service Can Help

At the National Grief Advice Service, we provide compassionate, confidential support for those experiencing secondary grief. Our trained advisors understand that grief does not end after the initial loss.

We can help you:

  • Process ongoing and layered losses
  • Feel heard and supported
  • Learn healthy coping strategies
  • Manage feelings of overwhelm
  • Rebuild stability and confidence


When to Seek Support

You may benefit from support if:

  • Life changes feel relentless or overwhelming
  • You feel emotionally exhausted or stuck
  • You struggle to adjust to your “new normal”
  • You feel isolated or unable to talk openly

Support can help you feel steadier and less alone.


A Message of Validation

Secondary grief is not lesser grief. It is real, ongoing, and valid. Each adjustment, change, and loss deserves compassion and care. With support, it is possible to find stability and meaning again, step by step.

The National Grief Advice Service is here to support you through every layer of loss with dignity, understanding, and care.